Neurosurgeon - Neurologist

As soon as I was released from the hospital, I was flooded with appointment after appointment.  It didn't help that two neurologists had my file!  Then it was more blood work and more MRI's

I met my neurosurgeon for the first time since the initial bedside meeting.  He and I discussed what was happening, what options I had and the risks associated with each.  As I had some left handed tendencies there was a concern about just going in blindly to do the full surgery, especially when we didn't know exactly what we were dealing with.  So we both agreed that a biopsy was the best shot to see what we were dealing with and buy us some time to do some other test. The surgery was scheduled 15 days from diagnosis (or a week from that appointment).  It was a little scary not knowing how bad it would hurt and what the outcome would be but I put on my big girl panties and just focused on the fact it needed to be done.

I also saw my neurologist prior to the surgery.  He determined that even though it was not proven through the EEG, that I was in fact having seizures when I experienced the vision issues.  He told me right there that he had a legal obligation to notify MPI and would pull my licence for 6 months and I would get it back if I was stable and passed all the testing.  You could tell he was uncomfortable with my crying when he slid the kleenex box aaaaaaaall the way across his desk and just kind of looked at me blankly.  Sorry dude...if you do that to an independent person like me, they are gonna cry.  He tried to comfort me by saying....we'll you've been stable almost 2 weeks, so it's really only 5 months and 2 weeks until you get it back if you pass the tests. haha  I get it though.  At the time, there was a risk to not only my safety but others out there on the road so I understood, it had to happen.  Although there was no diffinative proof of seizure, they put me on anti-seizure meds and I'm happy to say as if April 8/15...I'm still stable :D

During the 2 weeks prior to surgery, all I did was go from appointment to appointment with the help of two of my favourite ladies (who also happened to be 2 of the 3 friends I went to Boulder with).  JJ and Kim were so amazing being my shuttle service and lunch dates.  They made the fear a lot more bearable....mostly because I was laughing (or eating) most of the time!

Next up...surgery #1...

The two days that changed everything - Part 2

So there I was.  At HSC at 8am, thinking that I would be in and out and back to work before noon. I was clearly out of it for the first part because even though I knew where I was, I had text my friends I was at the Miz (oops!)

The wait time on the board when I arrived was about 1 hour.  As I had never been to any emergency since I've lived in Winnipeg (13 years), little did i know that the there were 2 sides of the emergency. Critical and non-critical for the people who needed stitches or had a cough.  I sat and sat and sat.  The joys of free healthcare.  I watched me slip back on the wait times to an average wait of 3 or more hours.  I didn't know they were also adding the non-critical people on the other side into those numbers.  At one point, I asked the nurse how many in front or approximately how much longer.  She told me that it depended on urgency and yada yada yada.  I knew that.  I then said, if I am not considered urgent, send me to the other side or I'll go home.  She got a little snarky with me and said "We're all adults here and if you want to go, you can go".  In my delirious state, it seemed as though all the nurses around kind of looked and nodded their heads in agreement. Something inside of me told me to just shut up and sit down.

Soon after I was finally called to the other side.  I was one of the lucky ones to not be put in a "curtain room" and got an actual room that I would be my home for 36 hours.  As I waited patiently, the doctor finally came in.  Oh great....Hello Doogie Howser.  I'm assuming he was fairly new resident.  Over the course of the next little while he poked, prodded, pulled.  Nothing was wrong that he could see.  He wasn't concerned about me being lethargic or the speech issues I mentioned. But he was concerned about my headache (which was so tiny)....I had to tell him a few times....NO its not the headache....I would not be here for that.  He also kept saying my strength was good.  In my head I kept thinking "of course it is....I'm a f*&%ing ironman".  Obviously stuck on what would be wrong, Doogie kept going back out the door to what I can only assume was to consult with the attending.  At one point he came back in the room and said (with one hand on the door knob) "are you sure it's not just the flu? Because when I get sick usually I get lethargic a few days before".  I finally pushed back from frustration.  "NO!!" I said. "I'm an athlete and I know my body and I know how I feel when I'm getting sick".  Even though his one hand was on the door knob for the quick escape, I think I scared the poor kid into looking for another test.  I didn't care...again, something was telling me not allow them to tell me nothing was wrong.  I knew I needed to push.

When he came back a few minutes later he then asked me to stand, put my arms out like I was holding a pizza and close my eyes.  I immediately fell into the wall.  He then had me do what I can only assume is a field sobriety test that cops would do....and had me walk foot over foot.  Again I fell but this time into the bed.  Both of us looked at each other and went "well that's not good".  I do way more intense balance drills all the time and suddenly I couldn't even walk.

He went away and popped his head back in to the room and said "we're ordering a CT".

I called my parents to tell them where I was but that I didn't think anything was major but I was getting checked out.  Even though I never go to the doctor, I've been known to use Dr. Google and do a lot of self diagnosing.  In that moment, I really felt nothing was wrong and I was maybe over reacting. Maybe it was the flu.

After finally receiving the CT, I waited what seemed like an eternity for the results. It was only about 20 minutes but a nurse had checked my vitals but left a machine on that was beeping every 15 seconds and driving me nuts!

I was sitting in the bed, probably checking Facebook when the door swung open and Doogie walked in.  The way he walked in, I thought "oh he's gonna tell me there is nothing there and make me feel like a jackass".  I thought that maybe he would say it's dehydration and we'll put you on an IV drip for a few hours.  Or perhaps I really was having a nervous breakdown and they were going to bring in a psych consult.

He then sat down, and looked at me and didn't start talking right away so I said "so I'm full of shit, right?!" while I chuckled.  He just said no I'm sorry.  The CT shows a lesion on the brain and we don't know what it is.  He then talked a little more while I completely shut down and went blank.  In my head it was a lot of WHAT THE F*CK. AM I DYING TOMORROW. OMG OMG OMG. HOLY SHIT.  I did tune back in, in time to hear "Do you have someone you can call.  A husband or a boyfriend?"  lol  Thanks for rubbing the salt in the wound Doogie!!  From there, a whole gaggle of nurses kept coming in and out.  Some for vitals, some for IV's...another to fix the IV when the first one didn't work.  They all offered sympathy.  This group of nurses also included one nurse who happened to be standing next to the original snarky nurse (saying I could go if I wanted).  She looked me in the eye and just said she was so happy I decided to stay and that they had no idea the outcome was going to be this.  The way she said it, I could tell she was apologizing for and the others for not believing me earlier.  I get it....people like me are in there everyday and a lot of the time, it's for nothing.  That's the downfall to free medical care.    People overuse the system to the point of the nurses and doctors being over worked and doing all they can to rush others out the door.

One nurse then came in and I basically told her my life story.  The poor girl didn't know how to respond so she offered to find me spiritual counselling.  At the time I was like don't you offer that to people on their death bed....omg I am dying.  haha

I can't remember if I had called my friends or my parents first.  I didn't want to tell my mom and dad over the phone but eventually gave in and did it.  The toughest thing I ever had to do was tell my parents that their baby, the independent girl has something going on in my brain but i don't know what.  I told them until the MRI happened I wouldn't know anything so I told them to stay home.  That must have been so hard for them to sit and wait by the phone like that.

The second calls I made were to Ash and Erin.  I was concerned about getting my car out of the parkade so I wouldn't be paying a fortune when I left there.  LOL  Ash and I have joked about that conversation since then.  I was a sobbing "can you come get my car for me I'm at HSC" I didn't even tell her what was happening.  She had to interrupt me and say ok Joanne, just back up a bit and start from the beginning.  Her and Erin were there within 40 minutes.

While I was waiting, I sent an update to Kris and Ayn who were checking in with me all day....I actually texted them the news....again....I wasn't thinking so clearly!  Ayn was already at HSC for a meeting and came right down.  Ayn called Fern...who was down there just as quick.  That was the start of one of the craziest nights of my life.  I swear we almost got evicted from the ER. 

I was in the ER for almost 3 days total....more on that another time, but it was filled with a lot of waiting, an MRI, meeting my neurosurgeon, having an EEG completed, meeting my neurologist...along with 10,000 other doctors, Kris and Scott embarrassing me (see attached business cards) but then karma getting them back by being called my parents and then being forgotten about in the observation area.  This was just the start of me really getting to know how health care really is!

 About to start my EEG

 Starting the EEG

The two days that changed everything - Part 1

The last year has truly been a whirlwind. New awesome job, where I was learning more in 3 months than I had in a very long time. My "Year of Ironman" was over and in the dust and I was focussing on my run game.  I had big plans.  On January 31, 2015 I had just came back from a business trip, did a 10 mile run in the morning, went to a concert with Erin & Ash, had a few too many drinks and stayed up 5 hours past my normal bedtime.  All was well with my world.  I woke up Sunday, went to spin with my triathlon club and sweat out my hangover over the course of 2 hours.  After the pain session was over I went for lunch with Julie and was so tired I could barely keep my head from falling in my fries. It was the type of tired I hadn't felt since last summer...on the days where I would do 2 hour solo drive back from Falcon Lake after riding my bike for 7 hours and running another 2.  I was also having trouble focusing on the conversation. Words were not coming out right and I'm pretty sure what I was saying was not coherent.  I'm sure Julie was like WTF!  My 10 minute drive home that day, I think I may have slapped my face 16 times just to stay alert. When I arrived at home, I slept for 3 hours and woke up still feeling lethargic and still hungover.  Very strange.  I started googling to see if I had sweat out too may electrolytes during spin.  I was convinced that was what it was...but i also remembered that Google was the one diagnosing me so I went to bed early in hopes to get a good night sleep.

Monday, I was again feeling lethargic and exhausted.  It was my first day back in the office from a week away travelling so when I arrived at work, I spent the majority of the day weeding through emails.  I was still having some speech issues but not nearly as bad as the day before.  I chose to ignore it.  But then I started having some kind images starting to show up.  It's hard to explain, except that it was kind of like a picture-in-picture kind of thing.  I won't go in to the one exact image i saw because its terribly embarrassing but ask me about it after I've had a few drinks and I'm sure I'll spill the beans.  

I was supposed to run 7 miles that night but I had zero motivation.  I had sent some texts to my friend Fern (who is also my trainer) to try and get her to give me an excuse to get out of it. I've been know to be a tad (more than a tad) dramatic. The warning signs were there but I felt so dumb to her about exactly what was happening.  I thought i was just being a wimp. I was a damn ironman after all!!  Fern gave me pass and told me to go home and get some sleep.

Tuesday mornings are normally 5am days where a group of us workout before work.  I was still feeling off (but who isn't feeling off at 5am) and was still having issues with my speech.  I was starting to seriously believe I was either having stroke or a nervous breakdown.  The electrolyte  self-diagnosis was long gone.  There had been one on going issue for the previous month that was causing me a ton of stress so I thought the nervous breakdown thing was a real possibility.  In the change room that Tuesday, as I was getting ready for work I was definitely not feeling my normal self.  I barely said a work....and I'm normally known for clucking with the rest of the girls while we shove each other out of the way to get to the one mirror and one outlet (seriously Richard.....we need more space and a larger electrical panel!! haha)  I was starting to get a tiny bit concerned about how was starting to feel so I had mentioned the symptoms (without laughing this time to Kris and Ayn who urged me to go to emerg to get checked out....or at the very least call Health Links (which I now know was a trap since they would have told me to go to emerg anyways).  Well played girls.

So off I was, to HSC.

Diagnosis to be continued.... 

It's a long story.....i've got to start at the beginning and it's going to take some time!